Reflections of Life
by eb2504
Summary: An AU story of what could have beens. Starts mainly centred on a Sam Carter that never joined the military.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Sam Carter was mad.

Scratch that, Sam Carter was furious!

She hated that man. He was a despicable, weasel of a man.

Although she was fairly sure that she was one of only a few people who thought so. Most people thought he was a good, fair leader. But not Sam, no sir, she couldn't stand him. The feeling was mutual though. He didn't like her, so he went out of his way to make things as difficult as he could for her.

The thing that annoyed her most was the fact it was nothing that she had done. The only thing she had done was be born to a Jacob Carter.

She wanted to be mad at her dad for her current situation but she knew that it wasn't really his fault. He couldn't help it that after all these years that man still held a petty grudge against him. He couldn't help it that said petty man was now taking it out on the object of his grudges daughter. And Sam certainly would not use her dads' position to try to get what she felt she so desperately deserved. She wouldn't give the weasel the satisfaction of knowing that he had gotten to her.

So instead she was taking out all her frustration and anger on her poor punching bag. The torrent of words coming out her mouth were not pretty and if it had not been for the loud music she had put on masking the noise, her neighbours may have been concerned she was committing a violent murder in her spare room.

But Sam didn't care, she was enjoying picturing the face of General West on this punch bag as she beat the living daylights out of it.

Dr. Samantha Carter was a brilliant scientist. Many people thought so, certainly everyone who had had the chance to work with her. She had been working on the Stargate program for almost 2 years now. She had even moved halfway across America for the project. She had been among the group of people to make the thing work! She knew more about that ring than anyone else! So why the hell was she one of those that was left behind?! Sure, she wasn't a big tough soldier but neither was Dr Jackson! And he was going through! She was fairly confident she could handle herself better than the bumbling Daniel Jackson. But no, because that pathetic, s.o.b. West said so, she was not going. She had argued that they may need her expertise on the other side. Whatever it is that's there. General West had simply said that her expertise were required here more. Sam had tried everything to convince him otherwise but she had stopped short of begging. She wouldn't give West the pleasure.

So at 9 am tomorrow morning, the team were stepping into that wormhole without her.

With a final growl of rage Sam sent the punch bag swinging backwards and then collapsed against it, breathing hard. She felt defeated, and bitterly disappointed. She had never let General West's dislike for her bother her before. She had always tried to rise above it. But this time it had got the better of her. She had wanted so bad to be stepping through that gate for the first time with the rest of them. It's what she had been working towards. Her own adventure. She didn't know what lay on the other side of that wormhole, none of them did. But she had desperately wanted to be there when they found out. She didn't care that it was potentially dangerous. In fact, she kind of liked that. Sometimes she wondered why she didn't join the Air Force like her father and brother. She was sure she would have made a good soldier. She knew it was probably the influence of her mother. Her mother was also a scientist and knew that Sam could go places with that brain of hers. So, instead of following her love for flying and joining the air force, Sam had followed her lover for science, gone to one of the top universities in the States, graduated top of her class, and now, 2 PhDs later, she was one of the best civilian scientists to work for the Pentagon. She knew that both her parents were immensely proud of her. Now, as she leant on her kitchen worktop gulping down a glass of water, she couldn't help but wonder. If she had joined the air force, would she be going with that team of soldiers tomorrow? 'Probably not if that pig West had anything to do with it' she thought with a bitter laugh. She didn't know the full story of why West and her father hated each other so much, but she knew that they had known each other when they were younger and had actually been friends. They certainly weren't now.

As Sam stepped into her shower she felt slightly better than she had when she first got home. She was still disappointed not to be embarking on what would surely be the adventure of a lifetime tomorrow morning but now she knew that she would be able to walk into the base tomorrow and watch them go without losing it completely.

She was sure that, regardless of what was on the other side of that wormhole and regardless of what happened to those that went through, her job was going to be a lot more interesting from now on.

_A/N: Please tell me what you think and if you would like me to continue. Also I don't have a beta, so if anyone would like to offer it would be appreciated. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sam stood in the shower letting the warm water cascade over her body.

Her heart was still going twice as fast as it should be. She felt as though her world had been turned upside down, shaken about and then set back right again.

The things she had seen! She wasn't sure she would have believed it if it weren't for the scratches and bruises that covered her in evidence.

Aliens, other planets, and not just one, hundreds of thousands of them! Sam had to admit she was itching to get started on the computer programme to compensate for planetary drift. The sooner they were able to do that the sooner she could be out there, exploring, discovering! The thought sent a shiver down her spine. She was actually a member of SG1! She still couldn't quite believe it.

Just over 48 hours ago Dr Sam Carter had finally gotten her wish. She had stepped though the Stargate for the first time.

It had been a little over a year ago that Colonel Jack O'Neill and his team had returned through the Stargate minus two soldiers and Daniel Jackson. They had claimed to have fought with a formidable enemy, destroying him with a nuclear bomb, destroying the gate on the other side and killing all those on that planet along with it.

That, as it turned out, had been a white lie. The enemy, Ra, had been destroyed, but in his ship in space, not on the planet. And Daniel Jackson was very much alive, and had in fact been living, happily married, amongst the people of Abydos for the past year.

But all that had changed.

Now Daniel was back on Earth, his wife, Sha're, had been taken prisoner by their new enemy Apophis, and he had made her his queen. Apophis was part of a parasitic race called the Goa'uld that took over human bodies as hosts. They had, themselves been captured by Apophis's guards, and had only escaped when one of the Jaffa guards had turned on his own and helped them. They had managed to rescue many others in the process.

And, by the sounds of it, possibly gained a new member (or two) for their newly formed SG1. Although Sam was not sure if General Hammond would allow and alien to be on the team. But then he had placed her, a scientist on SG1.

She had known General Hammond for some time, being a good friend of her fathers, and she definitely preferred him to General West. She just hoped that it was because General Hammond knew her, her skills and that she was more than capable of taking care of herself that he had put her on SG1 and not because he was doing her father a favour. She had even been as bold as too question him as much. He had looked mildly offended but could understand where she was coming from and assured her that he simply believed that having someone who fully understood the Stargate technology would be a major asset for SG1. He had also assured her that she would receive as much military training as she could take. He was confident she would meet the task head on. Sam just wished that Colonel O'Neill felt the same. It was clear he had a dislike for scientists and the idea of having someone like Sam on a team like SG1 was utterly preposterous to him. In fact she was confident that he would be in General Hammond office right now suggesting that Teal'c would be a much better asset to the team. And Dr Jackson was also pushing to be part of a team in some way, so he could look for his wife. Sam could understand that and hopefully so would Hammond. She felt slightly worried that General Hammond may give in to the Colonel and take her off the team in favour of Dr Jackson or Teal'c. After all, Colonel O'Neill is the team leader, and if he doesn't like or get along with all members of his team wouldn't that be counter productive? But hopefully the General will give her some time to prove herself before he does that!

Sam stepped out of the shower and began to dry herself off quickly. She figured she had already spent long enough in here, it being the only shower room the newly formed Stargate Command had and therefore doubling as both the male and female changing room. She was sure the guys would be waiting impatiently outside by now and didn't want to be the brunt of any 'female' jokes by taking too long to shower.

She had just finished tying the laces on her standard issue boots when the door to the changing room opened and in walked Jack O'Neill.

"I'm sure the sign on the door was turned to 'Women'." Sam said narrowing her eyes slightly at the Colonel.

Jack grunted and said "Figured you'd be finished by now. Been in here ages."

"As a matter of fact I am finished. I'm just leaving, its all yours." Sam smiled sarcastically at Jack and shut her locker over with a bang. There was something about the mans attitude that just plain annoyed her.

Jack smirked and watched her head for the door. "You'll be interested to know Hammond has denied my request to let Teal'c join SG1." He spoke just as Sam was about to open the door.

Sam turned round and looked at Jack, "I suppose that's not too surprising. Although, he would definitely be an asset to the team."

"Yes, he would." His eyes narrowed, almost as if he didn't believe she meant it. "Well, don't worry Doc, I haven't given up yet. I'll keep at it."

"Really" Sam tried to keep her face impassive.

"Yeah, really." His tone was goading her to question it. Jack opened his own locker and pulled out what he needed for his shower.

"Would I be right in assuming that you would want him to replace me?" Sam asked trying not to show how worried she was.

"Now why would you say that Carter?" Jack started to take off his shoes.

"I know you don't want me on this team." Sam said with more accusation in her voice than she intended.

"Yes well, apparently Hammond thinks you'll be useful." Jack gave her a look that clearly said he didn't agree with that statement as he started to take off his shirt.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is with me Colonel, but I thought I held my own on that planet. Yes ok, maybe I didn't kick as much ass as you did but I think I did ok. So if I haven't quite proved myself to you yet then I'm sorry but you're going to just have to give me the chance. Whether you like it or not!" Sam, now right in the Colonels face and pointing her finger at him, suddenly realised she was standing very closed to a half undressed Jack O'Neill and took a step backwards.

Jack smirked as he saw the blush creep up her neck and face. "Oh don't you worry doctor." He said slowly as he shed his t-shirt, leaving him standing in just his boxers, "starting tomorrow I'll be putting you through your paces. You can prove yourself to me then. Now, I suggest you go home and get yourself some sleep, you're gonna need all the energy you've got tomorrow." The smirk he gave her was enough to make Sam want to show him exactly what she was made of right now, but he was saved from that as Captain Colin Mathews, another member of SG1, walked into the changing room.

"Sorry Sir, am I interrupting something?" He asking smirking, taking in Jack, clad only in his boxers and Sams faintly red face.

"No Major," Sam answered sharply. "I'm just leaving. I'll see you tomorrow Colonel." And with a hard look that she hoped told Jack she'd be more than ready for anything he had to throw at her tomorrow, she turned and left the room.

Mathews watched her go with raised eyebrows and then turned and looked questioningly at O'Neill. "Don't worry Mathews," Jack said taking off his boxers and wrapping his towel around his waist, "by the end of the day tomorrow, Sam Carter will be begging Hammond to take her off SG1. I promise you that."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Colonel Jack O'Neill sat in the commissary pushing his food around his plate. He was not a happy man. The past few days had not gone as he had planned at all!

The worst part of it was that merely hours ago he had watched a good soldier, a friend die. One of those snake things had got inside his head and tried to take over his body. Jack himself had given the order. The order that ended his friends life. He knew it was the only possible course of action he could take. Kawalsky himself had asked Jack personally to ensure the snake didn't get a proper hold of him. Still, knowing that he had carried out the wishes of a friend didn't make Jack feel much better. They had still lost one more good man to these aliens.

The day after tomorrow SG1 had their first mission through the gate as a team. And what a team they were. Jack huffed and pushed his plate away. Not even pie looked appetising to him right now. SG1 were now a 5 man team. Jack had got his way in the end and so had Daniel Jackson. Both Daniel and Teal'c had been placed 'preliminary' on the team. However, he hadn't succeeded in scaring off Sam Carter.

He thought back to their training sessions over the past few days, and how at every damn opportunity, she had surprised him.

General Hammond had finally given Daniel permission to join an SG team, although the exact team had yet to be decided, so Jack had been ordered to put both doctors through the basic training to ensure that they were both fit enough to go through the gate.

He had started out fairly easy, taking them out for a run. As it turns out, both Carter and Daniel were reasonably fit. For scientists. That was pretty much as Jack had expected, although perhaps Carter had managed slightly longer than he had hoped. He had been silently pleased when Daniel had proved to be better than Carter in that respect, smirking at the look of surprised annoyance on her face when Daniel was still going strong and she was running out of breath. She had a competitive streak. "You spend a year on Abydos and see how fit you get," was Daniels reply when the Colonel had commented on his fitness.

However, the tables had been turned when he and Captain Mathews had taken them for a bit of hand to hand combat training.

First up had been Daniel. He knew the man had guts, he'd seen them in action, so he knew that, with a bit of fine tuning, Daniel would probably make a good fighter. He had been nearly right. Jack was sure, in the end, Daniel would make a good fighter, but it was going to take considerably more than a _bit_ of fine tuning. After landing the doctor on his ass several times and having no success in showing him how to avoid ending up on said ass, Jack decided that a smaller and lighter opponent would be easier for Daniel. "Okay Carter, I think it's your turn. Just move as though you're going to attack Daniel. Daniel, just do what I showed you." And sure enough, Daniel had managed to turn her attack around and bring her to the floor instead. Daniel had looked pleased with himself, until he found himself lying face down on the mat with his arm twisted around his back, a far too smug Sam Carter sitting on top of him. "Please tell me you weren't going easy on me doctor." Daniel moaned, as Carter let him go.

"Of course not, Dr Jackson," was Sams reply, although the smile on her face told Jack she had been.

The smug smile just pissed Jack off to much, "You really think you're something, don't you Carter?"

"I know how to take care of myself Colonel." Carter simply stated as she helped Daniel back to his feet.

"Well then," Jack said stepping towards the doctor, "let's see what you got." He took up a fighting stance in front of Sam, "Now, just remember what I said to Daniel, you want to make sure…Ooof!" Jack never got to finish his sentence as Carter had swung her leg at his, taking his feet out from under him and landing him on his back with a thud.

"You want to make sure you don't get too cocky Colonel, it may cause you to underestimate your opponent." Carter smirked down at him. That smirk was quickly wiped off however, as Jack had swung his own legs round and brought her quickly to the floor. What started out as a simple training session, ended up as a rather feisty sparring match. One which ended rather abruptly when Daniel shouted out would they like for him and Mathews leave them alone for a while. The snigger Mathews failed to cover up was quickly smothered by the glare sent his was by the Colonel. Jack struggled to his feet and offered a hand to Sam, who took it after eyeing him suspiciously for a moment. "So Carter, care to share how you learned to fight like that?" Jack had asked as they headed back to the changing room.

As it turned out, a young Sam Carter had been mugged not long after starting college, and as a result had been motivated into joining a martial arts class and had been going ever since. Although not an exceptionally high grade she was still pretty damn good. And, although he was loathing admitting it, she had certainly proved Jack wrong; Carter definitely knew how to handle herself.

'I definitely would've had her if Daniel hadn't interrupted that fight.' Jack thought to himself as he took out his anger on what had been a potato with his fork. 'She just had to go and be a damn martial arts expert, didn't she?'

The day after the sparring match, Jack had taken them for a bit of target practice. Once again Jack had found himself put firmly in his place. "Okay kids, this" Jack said holding up the weapon, "is a gun." He ignored the roll of Carters' eyes at his tone and continued, "If you are permitted to be armed when going through the gate, this is what you'll have. That's the ammo clip, and…" He trailed off as he watched Carter pick up her own weapon, take out the clip, reload it, cock it and aim it at the target." She turned and looked at the Colonel, "Permission to fire on the target?"

Jack, eyebrows raised, did his best to cover up his surprise. "Oh please Carter, by all means, show us how it's done."

And she did.

Jack looked from the target to Carter and back again, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Sam just stared resolutely back. "Don't tell me Doc, after the mugging you decided to join a gun club 'cause you didn't think martial arts quite did the trick."

"Actually Colonel, my dad taught me how to shoot. My mum didn't like him having guns in the house when I and my brother were there, so he taught us all about them and as soon as we were old enough he taught us how to shoot. Stop any accidents happening." Sam shrugged, unloaded the gun and set it back down.

A shadow passed over Jacks face, "Smart man your dad." And then it was gone. "Ok then Danny boy, your turn!"

Back in the mess Jack scoffed as he thought back over what Sam had said then. He was fairly certain she didn't know about his son and that that comment had not been a dig at him, but it had still cut. "Damn her." He murmured, as a jab of his fork sent a potato flying off the plate and onto the floor, rolling to a stop at someone's feet.

"Damn who?" Daniel asked as he picked up the errant potato and threw it in the bin behind him.

He sat himself down on the chair opposite, cup of coffee in hand. "You wouldn't be cursing Sam would you?"

Jack just glowered at him, saying nothing. He really wasn't in a talkative mood.

Daniel sighed, "Look Jack, I know you're not happy with having her on the team, but to be honest, I have no idea why!" He exclaimed, sitting his coffee on the table and sending Jack a questioning look. "I mean, she's clearly a brilliant scientist, having someone like that on a team going through the Stargate will be a great asset. Who knows what kind of technologies we might come across out there? We need someone like Sam, someone that may have some idea how it works."

"Daniel…"

"And, Jack, it's not like she is some stuttering geek. She can really handle herself. I mean, she put up quite a fight in that sparring match. And you're a trained air force officer!"

"Daniel…"

"And she can shoot, got quite a good aim too. Could probably give you a run for you money there too, so I really…"

"DANIEL!"

Daniel sputtered to a stop and looked at Jack like he was surprised to see him sitting there across the table.

"Daniel, I know all this." Jack leaned over the table towards Daniel, his eyes narrowed and his voice low, "I am well aware how great a scientist she is, and she is in good shape and can handle herself pretty damn well. And yes, she may even be a better shot than many soldiers here. But Daniel, I swear, you tell her any of this, and I will kill you." Jack pointed a finger a Daniels chest. He wasn't sure whether or not Jack was kidding. "We'll see how she does on SG1 Daniel, she still has to prove herself to me," he said standing up from the table. "And Daniel, there's no way she's a better shot than me." And with that he left the mess hall leaving Daniel staring after him.

"Oh, this is going to be an interesting first mission."

A/N: Hope you ejoyed! Thanks to everyone that reviewed! And big thanks to my beta Athens! Chapter 4 will hopefully be up soon. Please review!!


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